Frozen Twinkie!

I am cold! Is what I tell my husband when he calls in the morning before I get to work. His response “ why? It is only 25 degrees out”. Leave it to my husband to point out the obvious. My reply, “ Well you get to work in a warm office with a cozy chair and put your hands on a “not cold” keyboard. While I get to work in a frozen Twinkie!” 

I just dread the cold mornings. Just the thought of walking out of the warm bus driver lounge puts me in a “i don’t wanna” mood. So I stand there in the lounge all bundled up like I am ready to climb Mt Everest in my 2 layers of long underwear and workout pants ( remember I am a personal trainer in my other life). I also have about 4 layers on the upper half of me, plus my hat and gloves. I just stand staring at the door to the  bus lot and wish for one magical moment my bus would defrost itself, drive over here and pick me up.  Of course that isn’t going to happen. That is when I look around the lounge at my fellow drivers and whine! I then walk up to a new driver or one with less seniority than I, hold out the keys to my bus, smile and state, “ we have a tradition here. People with lower seniority have to go pre-trip my bus, drive it over here and make sure it is all toasty warm for me :)” .  Yeah that goes over well...nobody takes me serious and just laughs..ugh! “ok fine!” I say and turn around and march my happy now cold biscuits out the bus. It is dark this time of year and I usually wear all black ( personal trainer uniform) which means other drivers can’t see me. which leaves me to dodge all the buses backing up and leaving the lot.  So there I am walking down the row of buses watching all of my co-workers scrapping the ice off all 40 windows and checking their lights. As I pass each one of them they say good morning in their foggy breath. My reply is, “ I can’t work under these conditions! I am going home!..hahaha” yet I keep walking. I approach my bus and I am reminded of this Twinkie TV commercial where the bear in the woods sees a camp trailer. He imagines it to be a giant Twinkie and starts to eat it. Yep, my bus is a frozen Twinkie! All long and yellow with 3 frozen white holes on the top that look like  the cream filling holes on a Twinkie. Well, folks sorry to disappoint you but it is just a bus. A very, very cold bus! One that I have to warm up before all your precious like darlings get in.  I continue to turn on the battery, close the air tank values, unplug the engine block heater cord ( does that thing really work?) and I climb in. I then look at my seat and realize I have to put my biscuits on the frozen vinyl. Why can’t I have heated seats?  Thank goodness I have learn that if you put a thin blanker or towel down first, it will take the bite out of the first contact your biscuits hit the seat. The next obstacle I face is the frozen 14 inch metal round steering wheel staring at me. I am so glad that I am wearing gloves, Because I think about that “Christmas Story” movie where the kid gets his tongue stuck to the cold metal pole. What if that happened to my hands on the steering wheel?  Now that I have got past all of that I do my speed walking pre-trip to keep myself warm and to make sure I don't turn into a popsicle. The funnest part is trying to open frozen emergency doors and roof hatches (AKA Twinkie cream filling holes ). Since I am 5’5”, I have to stand on the seats and pound over my hand on the roof hatches to break them free. I even do my best karate kick right next the door latch on the side and rear door exits to get them to open. Sometimes I have to wait until right before my first stop when the bus has finally warm to get the doors open. I usually do this right before picking up my first students. Since the bus is a diesel, it only warms up on what we have been told “ under load” meaning after it has moved. The question is aways how long or far do you have to move it for that to happen? Well in my case and type of bus ( thomas), it takes until my first student stop for me to notice any temperature change inside the bus, which is about 5 miles. The district gives us 15 minutes  to “pre-trip” my bus before leaving the lot. The first part of my route is only 11 miles long which takes me all of 20 minutes to complete before I start my second. That means that I am in the cold and a on frozen Twinkie for 25 mins before I pick up my first student.  So what do you think my reaction is when the student gets on the bus and states  “ wow the bus is warm!” or “it is hot in here”. I just smile say good morning and  I say to myself, “ Self, I wish they knew that the bus doesn’t just come this way.”  And I am still in all my layers of clothes, hat and gloves! So, if you are one of those parents that gives your bus driver gifts durning the holidays. Please remember this story and get that driver something that will keep them warm!   Here are a couple of suggestions....Gerbing Heated clothing, hats, gloves or a Starbucks card. I am just saying :)